Persephone's Trip to the Underworld
by Mimi-Kiki-Dits
Summary: When the Greek god Hades captures a certain teenage goddess, things get a little bit crazy. With the Demeter chronicles and Hades's bad acting, Persephone is in for a wild ride!


This is the script for the play we're doing in class! I wrote it with Dits.

On Mount Olympus...

Chorus 2: Previously on Hephaestus TV...

Zeus: Of all my sons and daughters, you choose her!

Hades: Why not? She's a lovely maiden.

Zeus: You saw her 6 years ago. Now she is a rambunctious 16 year

old.

Hades: Ahh, lovely. Now she must be sweeter and nicer and more

obedient.

Zeus: Sure... Obedient would be the first word to come to mind...

Hades: Now that you have given me permission, I will go to fetch my

lovely bride.

Zeus: Wait! Her mother is not going to be hap-

(Hades leaves in a puff of black smoke)

Zeus: Oh well... Hades is in for some trouble, because when he

kidnaps Persephone, all hell will break loose. All hell! You get it, you

get it! All hell! As in Hades's kingdom! (Silence echoes around him)

I've been reduced to a rambling fool who talks to himself, oh well.

Chorus 2: Now, we're live from Persephone's field.

Persephone was jamming into her A-Pod with the headphones on.

Her two friends were also jamming into their A-Pods with her.

Persephone: We should keep dancing like we're 2,022 (Bad singing

voice)

Two friends: 0h, oh, oh

Chorus 3: The volume was set to max high, so she couldn't hear the

ground rumbling threateningly under her feet. A hole splits the

earth and Hades The God of the Underworld, RISES! dun dun

dunnn...

(Persephone keeps singing WAY off pitch)

Hades: Art thou the famous and beautiful Persephone?

Persephone: Keep on dancing like we're two-thousand

twenty-two-oh, oh oh oh

(Persephone notices Hades)

Persephone: Huh? What did you say?z

Hades: I said, art thou the famous and beautiful Persephone?

Persephone: Huh?

(Hades trips Persephone and she falls forward into the hole, she

starts falling but holds on to a ledge and hangs by one hand)

Persephone: (sings) Help, I need somebody! Help, not just anybody!

Help, I need someone, o-oo-oh!

Chorus 3: Then, the beautiful Aphrodite walks in front of the big pit,

she's talking to the Graces on her phone.

Aphrodite: There's like this new body soap, it's called Dove! OMG!

Yes I know that my symbol is the dove, yes, uh huh, I'm not stupid!

TTYL Graces, okay, bye. Man the Graces can chat the day away, oh!

It's Persephone, umm awkward...

Persephone: Why is this awkward?

Aphrodite: Cuz, I don't like you. So... um whatcha doin'?

Chorus 2: Aphrodite was failing at breaking the ice between them.

Persephone: Let's see...I'M HANGING OFF A LEDGE, And IF I FALL INTO

THIS PIT I AM IN THE UNDERWORLD, THE UNDERWORLD! So nothin'

new, huh, well, what are you doin-

(Persephone's beach bag with her A-Pod in it falls into the

Underworld)

Persephone: OH NO! MY TUNES!

(She lets go of the ledge)

Persephone: Oops

Chorus 2: Aphrodite just stares into the pit and watches

Persephone fall into the Underworld. The pit closes up, leaving

nothing but a field of flowers.

Aphrodite: Oh well, she will have to deal with that by herself. She's

got it under control.

When she turns around to leave, she bumps into Athena.

Aphrodite: Did you see Persephone-

Athena: Yes.

Aphrodite: And when-

Athena: Yes. She fell into the Underworld, and you just stood there.

Okay, everything is fine, but if she eats any Fish McBites, then she

can't come back to Olympus. There's a 75% chance that she will eat

one. I can see her drool every time we go past McDonalds. I'll go tell

Demeter.

(Ten minutes later)

Demeter: (Dramatic Gasp) Everything's okay, but if Persephone eats

any Fish McBites, she breaks her diet! And that can't happen!

Athena: (In a monotone) You are crazy. There is a 80% chance that

your daughter will have to marry Hades, but you only care about

your daughter's diet! You give no thought to her future or her life.

You are a horrible mother.

Demeter: (Completely ignores Athena's lecture) You're right I am

crazy, but we already knew that. I'm gonna go call the cops.

(Athena tries to stop Demeter)

Athena: Demeter we're on Mount Olympus!

(Demeter dials 911)

Demeter: Help! My daughter fell down a really big hole!

Police Officer: Who is this, and where are you?

Demeter: I'm Demeter, goddess of the harvest. I'm in Olympus and

my daughter is in the Underworld!

Police Officer: Ma'am, doing drugs is illegal. Are you under the

influence?

Demeter: NO, HOW DARE YOU ASK A GODDESS THAT?!

Police Officer: Ma'am, where are you? Were going to take you to the

mental hospital.

Demeter: Nevermind, police these days. They're so stupid, they never

help ANYONE!

Chorus 1: Demeter hangs up the phone, and went to ask every god

and goddess if they've seen her daughter.

Demeter: Hera, have you seen Persephone?

Hera: No. Demeter please leave, I'm planning a new revenge plot on

Leto.

(Hera does an evil laugh)

Demeter: Geez sis, take a chill pill. Have a nice day, I guess.

(10 minutes later)

Demeter: Aphrodite, have you seen Persephone?

Aphrodite: Umm... No.

Demeter: Yes, you have seen her. LIAR!

Aphrodite: No.

Demeter: Yes.

Aphrodite: You look adorable, where did you get that shirt?

Demeter: Oh my gods! I got such a good deal on it! I got it at

Arachne's Threads! Wait... you're trying to distract me aren't you.

Aphrodite: Busted... I'll give you a report on her.

(In the Underworld)

Hades: EAT IT!

Persephone: NO! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? FISH

MCBITES ARE BREAKING MY DIET!

Hades: Hast thou a diet? Persephone is beautiful, yet in very good

shape.

Persephone: Really? You think I'm in shape? I guess I'll have a few.

Persephone takes 7 Fish McBites out of the box.

Hades: Yes, Yes, eat thy Fish McBite.

Persephone: What?

Hades: Nothing, you have to eat the first one..

Persephone almost puts it in her mouth, when she asks,

Persephone: Can I have water?

Hades: After you eat thy last Fish McBite.

Persephone: Ok, I'll eat it.

Persephone popped the Fish McBite in her mouth. Then Hades gets a

crown from a throne next to his, and puts it on Persephone's head.

Persephone: Why do I have a crown on my head?

Hades: Thou art my new queen.

Persephone: Waaaiiit... you promised me water. (whiney voice)

Hades: You shall get thy water, my dearest lady.

Persephone: I'm gonna go change into another outfit, this one is all

dusty.

Hades: That outfit is fine. Thou must stay.

Persephone: Okay, but you say art thou A LOT! It's really annoying.

(10 minutes later)

Chorus 3: Persephone meets Hades in the great hall for dinner.

Hades: Thou art the most beautiful maiden in the whole wide world!

Persephone: No, that's Aphrodite. Oooh, I'm telling! She's going to

be mad at you.

Aphrodite: What's that! Who is the most beautiful maiden in the

whole wide world?!

Chorus 2: Aphrodite suddenly appears on top of the dinner table,

with her foot in the pudding.

Aphrodite: EEEEWWWWW! WHAT IS THIS STUPID GUNK THAT I AM

STEPPING ON!

(Persephone snickers)

Persephone: Y'know, hun, pudding looks good on you, it's even better

than some of that slop that you use on your face everyday.

Aphrodite: If it looks good on me then of course it would look

better on you, try it!

Chorus 2: Aphrodite has a dangerous calmness in her voice and

starts throwing some cheese cake at Persephone with a malicious

glint in her eye.

Persephone: EEEEWWWW! I HATE CHEESECAKE! Oooh, you're gonna

pay! (in a threatening voice)

Chorus 2: Persephone lobs apple custard pie at Aphrodite.

Aphrodite ducks and it hits Hades in the face. He has a stunned

look on his face.

Hades: I... I thought you loved me.

(Persephone snorts) Persephone: Of course not! I hate you even

more than I hate cheesecake. How old are you anyway, like

1,000,000,000 years old?"

Hades: No, I'm 1,000,000,001 I can't believe that you thought I was

so young!

Persephone: Exactly. This just proves my point even more.

Aphrodite: I'm proud of you! You threw a pie at Hades! I can't

believe I'm saying this, but, Persephone, lets go get a makeover.

Aphrodite walks through the hole to Mt. Olympus. Persephone tries

to follow but she doesn't fit.

Aphrodite: Ha Ha. You got fat. You should have listened to your

mother, instead of breaking your diet and eating 7 Fish McBites.

Persephone: You know I don't care about my weight, right?

Aphrodite: Okay then, bye!

Chorus 1: The End. You may leave now.

Chorus 2: NO YOU IDIOT! YOU'RE WRONG THERE'S STILL MORE! SIT

DOWN!

Chorus 1: Oh, you're right. I forgot the moral.

Chorus 2: NO NOT THAT!

Chorus 1: Oh yeah. I forgot the part when Dem-

Chorus 2 clamps hand down on Chorus 1's mouth. Do not reveal!

Hades: If I may intrude,

Aphrodite and Persephone: SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE, HADES!

Hades crosses his arms and says with an annoyed edge to his

voice,

Hades: You know I can kill you.

Persephone: Oh yeah, you're the god of deafness, or blindness or

something like that, whatever. (Emphasize deafness)

Hades: DUDE! I'm the god of death!

Aphrodite: Awww, Hades you're not talking in your old-fashioned

talk! That's news. There might be hope for you. You're such a good

actor, I almost didn't realize that you are an idiot.

Suddenly Hera appears,

Hera: Oh, hi guys. You should hurry up the story. I have a wedding to

crash tonight, another one of Zeus's affairs. But that's none of

your business.

Chorus 3: Oh so that's affair number...

Hera: Be quiet.

Aphrodite: Ah, stepmother, how are you? I love you so much. It's

always a joy to see you wreak havoc during weddings, and destroy

love and beauty. Because you, my beloved stepmother, are such a

ray of sunshine. (Aphrodite says, dripping with sarcasm) turns

away - Ugh, that nearly killed me.

Hera: Aww you really think of me like that? That's so sweet.

Aphrodite: Sure... whatever you say. Not really.

Persephone: Can we continue the story. Now, I'll start from the

beginning. Once there was a beautiful girl named Persephone.

Everyone adored her. Aphrodite always comes up to her and she

says "Oh, beautiful Persephone, I get all my beauty from you,

though I'm not as pretty as you."

Aphrodite: STOP! THAT IS NOT THE STORY! Now let me tell the

right story. Once upon a time, there was a useless ugly hag named

Persephone. She and her ugly hag friends were picking weeds for a

"beautiful" bouquet. Then some ugly old dude came out of a pit and

took Persephone. Then the gorgeous Aphrodite did the right thing

and told Athe-

Persephone: THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT THE STORY!

Aphrodite: IS TOO!

Persephone: IS NOT!

Aphrodite: IS TOO!

Aphrodite and Persephone are gonna get in a really horrible

cat-fight. Crowd stand back, it's gonna get ugly.

Hades: Girls...LET THE CHORUSES TELL THE STORY!

Aphrodite and Persephone together: Okay.

Chorus 1, 2, and 3: Let's see, where were we? Oh, we're at the

Demeter Chronicles, A.K.A. Demeter's drama.

*On Mount Olympus*

Demeter: ZEUS! (Demeter says in a whiney voice)

Zeus: What is it Demeter?! I'm busy!

Demeter: I demand to know where Persephone is!

Zeus: DEMETER!

A clash of lightning comes from the sky.

Zeus: I don't know where Persephone is, okay?!

Demeter: I didn't want it to come to this, but you asked for it. You'll

see. The whole world will see! (evil laugh)

Demeter exits the throne room dramatically, planning revenge for

Zeus and everyone to pay for not telling them if they've seen

Persephone.

(2 cropless seasons later)

Demeter: Persephone should be here, planting her (sniffle) beautiful

flowers. It's almost her favorite time of the year, Spring!

Demeter sobs into Athena's arms.

Athena: Demeter, you need to chillax, I have news for you. Zeus

wants to see you.

Demeter: Ugh, fine.

Demeter goes to the throne room, there she finds Zeus, Hera, and

Aphrodite sitting on their thrones.

Zeus: Demeter...

Hera: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT PERSEPHONE WAS MISSING?! I

THOUGHT WE WERE SIS-

Aphrodite put her hand over Hera's mouth.

Aphrodite: Sorry Demeter, Hera's gone a little (does the crazy sign)

Demeter: Hera, I asked you if you'd seen her, but you were planning

on some revenge plot on Leto or something like that.

Zeus: We have some good news. Follow us to the Underworld.

Chorus 2: Demeter, Hera, Zeus, Aphrodite, and Athena go to the

Underworld for a little surprise.

Dead Soul 1: Ughh

Zeus: We're here to see Hades.

Dead Soul 2: Uuuggghhh

Aphrodite: Dang, these souls are annoying.

Hera: Maybe they don't understand us. (In a loud, slow voice) HEY!

WE ARE GOING TO SEE HADES!

Dead Soul 3: Uuuuuugggggghhhhhhhh

Athena: WE ARE GOING TO SEE HADES, YOUR LEADER, OKAY! (Hand

movements along with each word)

Dead Soul 4: Ugh, you guys can come in, the other 3 souls lost their

voices by talking too much. Annoying right.

Dead Souls 1, 2, and 3: Ugh!

Chorus 3: They enter the Underworld. They find Hades and

Persephone on their thrones.

Zeus: Demeter, Persephone is coming home to Olympus.

Chorus 3: Demeter and Persephone stare at Zeus, then start

jumping around like two little girls when they get ice cream.

Hades: (Cough Cough) Zeus, tell her.

Demeter and Persephone stop jumping and look at Zeus.

Persephone: Tell us, please.

Zeus: Persephone can stay on Olympus for half of the year.

Hades: Then for the other half of the year, she comes back to me.

Hera: Persephone can stay during Spring and Summer, but leaves

during Fall and Winter, got it?

Zeus: Do you agree with this everyone?

Aphrodite: Ugh, still can't believe I'm saying this, but yes

Athena: Yes, there is an 80% chance that this will be for the best

Hera: Yes, now let me go wreak havoc on the wedding of the ugly

old hag my husband is with.

Hades: Yes, although I-

Persephone: Shut your piehole! (snickers) That never gets old.

Everyone else: Yes, yes it does.

Demeter: Yes, my wonderful daughter has to go to a gym, she is

getting fat.

Persephone: OMG, MOM! I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES! I DON'T

CARE IF I'M FAT! Wait... F-iii-nnn-eee, but I don't want to be, I

dunno, super skinny

Demeter: Fine. (Demeter pouts)

Then, Persephone looks at a watch with all of the seasons on it.

Persephone: SPRING STARTS IN ONE MINUTE!

(One minute later)

Persephone: SPRING IS HERE! I HAVE TO GO SHOPPING, IT'S BEEN

FOREVER!

Demeter: WAIT! I HAVE TO MAKE SURE NO ONE KIDNAPS YOU AGAIN!

Hades: (Sigh) Zeus, can you make Persephone stay for longer in the

Underworld?

Zeus: Hades, I can make her stay for 3 seasons in Olympus, don't

push it.

Hades: Fine.

Chorus 1: And in the end, everyone was happy. Aphrodite,

Persephone, and Demeter went to the spa. Persephone lost weight,

and her mom is proud. Hades was happy for once, well... He washed

the pie off his face anyhow. Zeus went back to his 'business'. And

Hera got to crash that wedding she was planning!

Chorus 3: THE END!

Chorus 2: NO! YOU FORGOT THE MORAL!

Chorus 3: The moral was...

Chorus 1: HEY I'M SAYING THE MORAL!

Chorus 3: NO I AM!

Chorus 1 and 3 get in a sissy fight.

Chorus 2: Finally, my time to shine! So, the moral was drum roll

please...To never break your diet!

Persephone: Seriously, guys, I DON'T CARE IF I AM FAT, well I didn't

care, but now that you mention it...

Everybody in the cast: THE END!

Lost souls: Uggghh

THE END


End file.
